Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The convent might be a nice break from real life
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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