3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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