it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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