let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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