I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
