Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
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