Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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