Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
