I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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