Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
