is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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