I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
