So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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