remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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