i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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