Tell her she can't have a vagina
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
