I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
You left your phone here
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