ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
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