turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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