Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
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