i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
