Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
