It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She announced her abortion via fbk
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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