I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
