I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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