Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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