Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
