last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
