You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Randomize
