Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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