I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
