piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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