how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Randomize
