Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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