Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
