Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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