We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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