I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
