a queef is a wish your heart makes.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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