Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i drank out of a bidet.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
