I didn't shave. On purpose
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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