I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
