Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
