what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
