You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
