we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
