u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Randomize
