i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize