do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
