I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
