the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
